This Drifting Poo Was Far Too Symbolic! These Are the TV Disappointments of the Year.
As we consider the TV offerings of the past year, a selection of series emerge not for their brilliance, but for their notable shortcomings. Ranging from awkward sequels to confusingly poor documentaries, here are the productions that had us scratching our heads or just reaching for the remote.
And Just Like That
Where to begin with this divisive follow-up? Burdened with dreadful scripts, painful character development (justice for Miranda!), and a paltry 71 seconds of fan-favourite Samantha, the series struggled to justify its existence. For a moment, as the final season started, it looked like it had finally hit its stride. Then arrived an episode all about Seema’s natural deodorant. No wonder the creator announced this would be the final series. It ended on a low point; the closeup of Miranda’s toilet flooded with poo was just way too on-the-nose. Still, viewers undeniably found joy picking apart every single “what on earth?” episode. And as Carrie – once again single – danced around her palatial townhouse to Barry White, who couldn't let out a small sob?
All’s Fair
‘Can Kim Kardashian act? Of course she can’t.’
But that was almost the least of this drama's issues. The subject of a very rare zero star assessment, it was difficult to know where to begin listing the flaws. The laughably leaden writing? The tedious veneration of wealth and materialism? The seemingly wilful procession of cliches? Acting so poor they felt almost malicious? Suffice it to say “all of the above” and never speak of this series again. However, a new season has been commissioned, so we’re likely going to have to.
AKA Charlie Sheen
Given the restraining orders, domestic violence claims and fatherly shortcomings, it’s reasonable to say Charlie Sheen has been a bad boy. Not that you’d really have known it from this multi-part docuseries which smirked its way at Sheen’s various bouts of self-destructive excess while failing to tell us anything we weren't already aware of. Instead, it felt as if this loose cannon was being indulged, so any sympathy this series might evoke should be saved for the people who have had to endure close contact with this charismatic but dismissive egotist.
The Supercomputer Drama
Naturally we knew it was preposterous from the get-go: a drama about a AI known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either solve global crises – or annihilate all of humanity. We stuck with it out of pure love for its stars … but by the end, it felt like even they had stopped bothering. One scarcely cared when his character died, and the other ultimately slicing Charlie with an axe … in painfully slow-motion. Talk about admitting defeat.
MobLand
Shady characters meeting in deserted boxing gyms? A certain band's Firestarter blaring in club scenes? The late 90s called and wants its crime drama back.
Actually, that is harsh on the crime shows of the late 90s. Many look a bit dated now, but at least they didn’t suffer the ignominy of having to indulge unconvincing dialects. But there were many other issues. Primarily that it was just profoundly dull; a conflict over narcotics territory between various cockney rogues which felt a bit basic.
With Love, Meghan
Considering the degree to which she provokes the ire of certain ostentatiously enraged commentators, it’s temptingly easy to applaud the Duchess of Sussex’s various ventures into quaint lifestyle as deliberate statements. But then you view them and are compelled to concede that actually, they may have a point. It’s like watching a homeware magazine come to life; a poster for wine o’clock with ideas of grandeur; a procession of snoozing dogs, buzzing beehives, sentimental sayings and pointless crafting “tips” you’ll forget instantly. All underpinned by vast, largely unearned wealth. Ugh.
Victoria Beckham
There are obviously fascinating things to be discussed about both Victoria Beckham and her struggles with vocation, identity, self-acceptance. But for whatever reason, this documentary series chose not to explore them. Rather, the experience was like reading a sales brochure. She obviously has every right to bridle at what she describes as her “stern” image. But unfortunately, she didn’t do herself any favours with this cagey letdown of a series.
The Inheritance
It had the potential to be the next big hit – except even more extravagant, with a famous star as a deceased benefactor and a well-known personality overseeing her inheritance. What more could you want? As players competed, there was plenty of backstabbing and arguing. But the rules quickly became incomprehensible: it’s even now too complicated to detail what exactly was happening. Even more regrettably, we only saw brief appearances of the star via prerecorded videos. The show ended up reeking of a production that was trying way too hard to emulate something way beyond it.
Too Much
How do you follow a show that defined a generation? The expectation was enormous for this starry romantic comedy about Jessica, a rosy-eyed New Yorker who arrives in London with a broken heart. The lead actress seized the opportunity by the horns and was joyous to watch, embodying Austen levels of romantic notions. But it was all very slick and, paradoxically, was insufficient. Plus, the sheer amount of famous friends involved felt uncomfortable.
Mitchell & Webb Are Not Helping
Not good enough to be ‘patchy’.
Given the smart inclusion of talented younger comics, hopes were high. But sadly, most of it fell flat. A recurring sketch was a single joke stretched to a dry pulp but recurring in every episode. One star seemed too ready to slip into a well-known irate mode. The writing room sketches, meanwhile, simply inspired the idea that they should probably have stayed in there a while longer.
The Twisted Tale of Amanda Knox
This dramatisation of the story of Amanda Knox was overseen by Amanda Knox and pretty much solely showcased the perspective of Amanda Knox. So, while there undoubtedly is an compelling drama to be made about the tragic 2007 murder, this was not it. The material needed to be treated sensitively. Instead, the series struggled painfully to find the right voice, lurching from strangely breezy, somewhat stylised farce to ultimately, real-life horror. Complex? Perhaps. A complete mess? Absolutely.
The Maths Genius Thriller
We admire the lead actor … but did we believe him playing the greatest maths genius since, a man so smart he’s on the brink of a discovery that could ruin society? Nope! This international thriller about government agencies targeting – and eliminating – intellectuals honestly got more farcical by the second. Formulaic nonsense.
The Bonnie Blue Documentary
This uncritical portrait followed the online personality renowned for sexual exploits as she undertook her most extreme challenge yet. What on earth would motivate her? What we wanted was far greater examination of her true psychology, plus those of the men in the queue. They could at least have spoken to the legendary mum who showed up to haul her son out of the queue. What we got was disturbing shots and absolutely no critical analysis of her notoriety whatsoever. And to think, the filmmaker has a young daughter too.